Pregnant Women: The New Public Property

Although I'm not pregnant right now (and I don't plan on being for a long time), I find myself talking about this topic often, as I'm sure most women who have had children do. It never ceases to amaze me how people tend to treat pregnant women like they are public property. It's almost as if being pregnant is seen as an invitation for people to say, or ask, whatever is on their mind. And why is it that complete strangers feel that it is alright to touch a pregnant lady's belly? Would they touch it if she wasn't pregnant?

Here is a sampling from my three pregnancies (What I wanted to say in italics):

'Wow, are you sure you're not having twins?'
(Now you're just calling me fat, sir.)

'My wife never got that big!'
(Good for your wife, was she 5'2"?)

'I never got that big.'
(I hope you get fat one day.)

'You look like you're going to pop any day now!'
(Is that supposed to be a compliment?)

'Are you past the constipated stage?'
(Do you really want to talk about my bowel movements?)

'You know what causes that, right?'
(Yup, don't plan on stopping that any time soon.)

'Why would you bring more children into a world that is already over populated?'
(Try doing your own research before jumping on the overpopulation train.)

'Are you sure you can afford more children?'
(Do you want me to whip out my finances for you, and I don't know why it's any of your concern.)

'Sex is supposed to jump start labor!'
(1: I don't even talk about sex with my husband. 2: I am literally a house for someone, sex is not on my list of to do's, neither was my husband for that matter. 3: I'm at work right now, this is not the conversation to have with me!)

'C-sections are only an excuse for lack of proper birthing education, anyone can have a vaginal delivery, that is what a woman's body is made for.'
(Are you being serious right now? I don't even know how to respond to you. You have no idea what happened during my first labor.)

My favorite of all time was a lady that had come into my place of business and was talking to a co-worker of mine. I could hear that she was talking about me, not a big deal, most people did since I was clearly pregnant and due at any moment(or so they thought). I just smiled a said 'Hi' to her. She said to me, 'You're pretty big, how old is your youngest?' My reply, 'Tukey will be 2 in December (this was about September).' She said, 'Oh, that's it, you just didn't loose all your baby weight yet.'

Whaaaaaaaaaaaa? Excuse me? Although I just laughed it off, I wanted to say, 'Yeah, how old is your baby?' I did, by the way, loose all my baby weight, plus some, but I didn't say anything, it was best just to let her be on her way.

In all seriousness, I know that most of my responses would have been emotional, as I get very irritable and emotional when I'm pregnant. Thank goodness I had the wisdom to keep my mouth closed and the Good Lord whispering in my ear that I would be laughing about it later.

So please, dear friends, please think about what you say or do to your local pregnant women. We are a very emotional people, and if one snaps back at you, don't take it personal.